Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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