you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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