I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
