Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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