4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
