Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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