____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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