Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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