Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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