yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
