College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
