I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
