would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
