he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
