He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
