If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
