The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
