White coat. Heels.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
