Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
