Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
