Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
