needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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