i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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