If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
