Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
