Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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