well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
