You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
