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More tranny stories later!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
