It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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