That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
