I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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