My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
