Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
