We won't sleep together?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
