If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
