Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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