So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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