I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Do you still have your period?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
