Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
