yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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