Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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