I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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