hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So much Jack, so little girl.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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