I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
