1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
