I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
