Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
