I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
