I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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