cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
