people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
What drink are we having for lunch?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
