hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
