I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
