weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Hippo gnu deer
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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