OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
